Release…One by One

It can be quite difficult letting go.  I struggled with releasing these balloons for a good 3 minutes.  

Do you know what it feels like to hold on to something that wants to be released?

Last year I wrote about being okay with celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Do I feel the same way this year?  Honestly, I would say not so much.

I can remember sitting in the funeral home putting together the final arrangements for my father’s homegoing on a cold, winter day in Michigan.  On a day that’s supposed to represent L-O-V-E!  Why was I spending my Valentine’s Day with a broken heart that seemed impossible to mend?  I wanted someone to answer that question.  

I chose three balloons for many reasons; The Three Promises I Shared With My Father during the Final 48 hours with him (hence the name of the project), the Three Years that it took me to get to this place (I’m not counting year 1 right, because it was a blur), and Three things that must exit my life.  

I will say this, those promises that I put in place by his side have grounded me.  I know if I can find the motivation during one of my darkest hours, God would provide all that I needed to go from darkness into the light.

So, no I don’t hate Valentine’s Day.  I choose to celebrate it in another way.  I want to start releasing those things from my life that shouldn’t be there, in order to make room for what should be in that season.  Some have to go in order for us to grow.  It hurts, but it’s still true.  I have learned so much about myself in the absence of my father.  I know that I was able to achieve all of those promises because of what he instilled in me.  Why would I give up now?  I have so much to provide to the world, right?!

Finally, I stand firm, and decided to let my balloons go; one by one.

XOXO,

RJ